Fearfully And Wonderfully Made

For so many people, the holidays can be such an emotional and trying time. Some have lost loved ones. Others have been hurt on some level by family or friends, making it difficult to participate in the normal holiday fanfare. For some, the thought of approaching Thanksgiving and Christmas brings on a gamut of stress and anxiety. What with all the preparation and shopping, planning and finances...it's simply overwhelming. Even if you haven't dealt with a loss or some kind of hurt, for some...it's just an emotional time.


My husband Chris has a great saying. "Feelings aren't good or bad...they just are." Why is it then, that our tendency as humans is to feel bad for feeling? Maybe you've heard someone say, "Is it wrong that I feel this way?" I hear people say that quite often. I've even heard myself saying it on occasion. Is it wrong that I feel this way? How on earth do you answer that question? How about this. "No, it's not wrong that you feel that way...it's just bad."

O.K., maybe that's not the best response. But that fact remains. We feel. Feelings just are.

Take for instance sadness. Some of us feel sadness more than others. You may not even need a reason to be sad, you just are.

How about depression. How many of us have struggled with it? In all honesty most of us have. It pulls you down and holds your heart captive. For some, that captivity is so familiar, it's easier to stay there than to try to escape it.

And then the feeling of being overwhelmed. The pressures of life. Your job, family, friends. Financial pressures abound for so many of us these days. I hate to break the news, but I just don't foresee money problems getting any better in these last days. It all can overwhelm.

Not to mention frustration, anger and regret. I'm sure I'm not remembering every single emotion a person can feel. Just thinking about it all can make me sad, depressed, overwhelmed, frustrated, angry, and regretful.

Now hold on. There is a light at the end of this post. There is One who is well aware of every emotion we could ever emote, and every feeling we could ever feel.

In Psalm 139:14, David proclaims,

"I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made, Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well."

Fearfully and wonderfully made. Those words so speak of God's love and control. Yet I can't begin to comprehend the depths He went to, in order to form my very being. I mean sometimes I have feelings and emotions that I can't even put a name or face to. But, HE CAN. The One who formed me...fearfully and wonderfully made me.

Verses 15-16 of Psalm 139 go on to say,

"My frame was not hidden from You, When I was made in secret, And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, The days fashioned for me, When as yet there were none of them."

Oh ya, and verses 17-18,

"How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand; When I awake, I am still with You."

For goodness sake, just read the entire Psalm. Every bit of it. Over and over again.

The truth of the matter is, we are emotional beings. We feel. Sometimes we feel too much. Some of us feel more than others. Fearfully and wonderfully, we are who God made us to be. We live in a fallen world that doesn't always play fair...especially with our emotions.

During those times when feelings and emotions run thick, let the Word of God be the sword that cuts through it all, and enables you to put a name and face to what you're feeling. As we read and seek Him in His word, emotions are expressed and heard loud and clear. As a matter of fact...all of them. I need to know that I can find the Lord in everything I feel and experience.

Psalm 61:1-3; Psalm 73:24-26; Ephesians 6:10-18;
2Corinthians 10:4-5; James 1:2-4

...and so much more


"God's Word has sustained me. There have been times when I have only been capable of reading a few verses at a time, yet the supernatural, life-giving power of the Word of God has given me strength to go on, even if only one day at a time."

-Anne Graham Lotz


Just as a side note. We had a wonderful Thanksgiving. Natalie's boyfriend's family came to stay with us for a couple days, along with our sweet friend, Rachel, from Napa. Many others from church came to eat with us on Thursday. What a blessing to have our home filled with the family of God. As for my "Green Bean Junk". For all of you who have been asking what that is, I'll give up the secret. It's the green bean casserole recipe found on the fried onion can. There, now you all know.

Also, I did end up getting pretty sick the day after Thanksgiving. Apparently, though she doesn't want to admit it, Natalie brought back a bug from China.








Don't feel bad, sweetie...you got to go to China!

Give Thanks

It's almost here. My all time favorite eating day of the whole year...Thanksgiving. Our home may even look like that picture over there. Except I won't be cooking the turkey this year, and I'm certainly not that old. Oh ya, and Chris doesn't have that much hair on top. But, none the less, our home will be filled with fellowship as we once again open it to anyone who doesn't have family or a place to go. What a blessing it is. We get to eat the best of the best of every ones favorite family recipes. I tell ya, the food is simply amazing, and there's always enough for everyone to take home leftovers. I, of course, will prepare my specialty.....Green Bean Junk! Oh ya, it's the best.


May we all remember the Father's many blessings, and especially all He's given us in Jesus.


HAPPY THANKSGIVING


"Oh, give thanks to the LORD! Call upon His name; Make known His deeds among the peoples! Sing to Him, sing psalms to Him; Talk of all His wondrous works! Glory in His holy Name; Let the hearts of those rejoice who seek the Lord! Seek the LORD and His strength; Seek His face evermore!"
Psalm 105:1-4

At Peace in Worship

I just absolutely love this picture. And, I absolutely love digital cameras that help me to take great pictures when I have no idea what I'm doing. I took this picture up on the hill where our church meets. Our church is blessed to be able to rent a facility that sits a top a hill, overlooking a vineyard valley and the Russian River below. As you walk from the church building, across a grassy, tree lined green belt, you then come to this overlook...and this is what you'll see. Except, it's always changing depending on what season we're in. In the Summer, the vineyards are deep green, and the river is low and slow. When it's very hot, and believe me it gets very hot up there in the summer, you can hike down the trails after church and float down the river. In the winter, the vines are bare with no leaves, but the hills all around are deep green. Sort of what I would imagine Ireland to look like. The river, on the other hand, is swollen and high from the rains. It moves swiftly, taking with it tree branches and debris, and even people if they're not careful. And the picture you see above is Fall. Probably my favorite season in these parts. All this to say that I went up there one afternoon, about two weeks ago, to try to get some shots of the beautiful fall colors before they were all gone.

All these thoughts and reflections of that day came about as I was cleaning a bookshelf in my bedroom. These shelves are just packed full of books, and I'm embarrassed to say, had not been dusted in weeks. As I was pulling all these books from the shelf; commentaries, dictionaries, study guides, fiction, biographies...I came across a tiny book called, "Gems From Tozer: Selections from the writings of A.W. Tozer" It's a conglomeration of lines, paragraphs, and sayings from several of Tozers books. The second chapter of the book is called, "The Missing Jewel Of Worship". The first line of this chapter hooked me, right in the heart. It said, "We are called to an everlasting preoccupation with God." Everlasting? You mean boundless, abiding, ceaseless, endless, imperishable, continuous, timeless, uninterrupted, indestructible, permanent, undying, and eternal? That kind of everlasting? (No, I'm not that smart...I used a Thesaurus) I stood up on that hill, overlooking that beautiful, golden valley. The air was warm, the wind gently moved the leaves in the trees. I could hear the soft babble of the river down below. I tell ya, all I wanted to do was lay down in the grass under those trees and worship my God. But I couldn't. I was in a hurry. I had somewhere else to be and only had a few minutes to take my pictures. So, snap, snap, snap, and back in the car I went to drive back down the hill. It wasn't until I uploaded, and saw those beautiful pictures, and then decided to clean a bookshelf, that the Lord spoke to me about Himself. He's so good to take the simple things in our lives, like pictures and cleaning, to speak into our hearts a deeper truth. Oh how I want to be an endless, timeless, uninterrupted (and all those other words), worshipper of God. Does this mean I walk around in a dreamlike state...unfocused, uninvolved, never really a part of this life? You've heard the saying, "Too heavenly minded for any earthly good". By the way, I detest that saying. How could anyone ever be too heavenly minded? If anything, we can very easily be too earthly minded for any heavenly good. You see, I believe that everything we do here in this life is to be worship to our God. Now, you can define what "everything" means to you. For me it means EVERYTHING. That may sound nebulous. But Tozer also says, "Worship means 'to feel in the heart.'" In other words, as I go through the motions and tasks of my day, it means nothing without my Lord. All I have in this life has been given by Him. He has given Himself so freely to me. I, with heartfelt worship, will give all back to Him. Getting up in the morning and making breakfast can be worship to Him. Going to work or school can be worship. Raising our kids, taking care of elderly parents, doing the dishes, cleaning a bathroom, sitting in church on Sunday, or standing on a hill to breathe in the beauty surrounding you...all can be worship to the King.







"All the earth shall worship You and sing praises to You. They shall sing praises to Your Name." Selah

Psalm 66:4



Gems from Tozer

Vacation?...I think not

I had the weirdest dream last night. Now, mind you, I'm not a big dream analyzer. Usually, if I have a strange dream, that say involves me being back in High School, late for class, trying to get my locker un-jammed. I then look down and realize I forgot to put my pants on...well, I'll just chalk it up to what I ate right before I went to bed and not give it a second thought. But this one was, lets just say, deserving of a second thought.





It went a little something like this. My husband and I, our daughter, and our two sons, decided to have a family get-a-way at Count Dracula's castle. Now, you might wonder where Dracula's castle would be located in my dream. Transylvania? Or maybe on a mountain cliff, overlooking a turbulent sea? No, the castle was located right in the middle of town, of course. I kinda had the feeling we didn't have to travel very far to get there. In other words, it felt close to home. The outside of the castle seemed ominous and castle-like enough. But the inside sort of looked like this old retreat center I've been to for women's retreats. Lots of rooms, dark panelled walls, creaky stair cases. My dream even had a musty smell to it. Anyway, there we were, vacationing at the Counts castle. Its so interesting though, because I had no fear of being there. It was more of a feeling like, "Of course we're here. Where else would we be?"


There are a few factors that I do need to point out about our stay. We never saw anyone else. We were the only ones visiting the castle. We never saw Count Dracula, but we knew he was there. And lastly, we couldn't leave the castle. This didn't bother me though, because hey...It was just a dream. Until the part of the dream where my husband informed me, in a matter of fact sort of way, that Dracula intended on making me his bride. That's right...his bride. You know what I mean by "matter of fact", don't you? It was like he yawned and said, "Oh, by the way, you're marrying Dracula tomorrow." Well, the whole feel of the dream changed at that point. It was as though I woke up to the reality of the evil state I was vacationing in. I think I screamed something like, "We need to get the kids and get out of here!" But, of course it's a dream, and we couldn't leave right then. We were forced to wait until morning. When it did come (in the dream that is), I jumped out of bed and frantically began to pack our things, which were everywhere as though we had been living there for years. I then realized I needed to wake my boys and inform them of the desperate situation I was in. We needed to escape, and now...no time to waste. I opened the door to the room where they were sleeping. It too was a mess with piles of clothes everywhere. I told them to get up. But, once again, it's a dream, so they sort of just yawned, and moaned, and rolled over. They do that when I'm trying to wake them for school in the morning. I'm not sure where my daughter was. I couldn't seem to find her. I think that may be because she's in China right now. So, I made my way back to my own castle room to finish packing so we could high tail it outa there. When I got back, Chris was up and about. I think he was getting ready to take a shower or something. I heard a noise coming from the window. I walked over and looked out to see what the commotion was. The castle courtyard down below was filled with towns people. All of them were cheering and waving flags. Some of them were riding on horse back. For what were they cheering, you may ask? They were celebrating the upcoming nuptials of Count Dracula and his new bride, of course. That was enough for me. There was no way I was gonna stick around to see the outcome of this dream. So, I woke myself up.


Now, like I said in the beginning, I am not a big dream analyzer. But can I just tell ya (my friend Mimi says that all the time)...Can I just tell ya I think there's a great lesson in the crazy dream. My husband taught on spiritual warfare this Sunday morning, Ephesians 6, and I believe it may apply. Last Sunday he talked about identifying our enemy. Sometimes we can't even see who or what our enemy is. We need to be so in tuned to the Spirit of God, so in His word, hiding it in our hearts, always steadfast in prayer, sitting at His feet, listening for His voice. Just as a soldier stands ready to recognize the appearance and tactics of his enemy, I too need to be ready to recognize the schemes and wiles of my enemy...Satan. It's not always easy though. Hey, I felt pretty comfortable in Dracula's castle, until I found out I had to marry the guy. I think I want to see it coming way before that. Praise Jesus! We have everything we need to stand in Him.


"For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breast plate of righteousness, and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God; praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints."


Ephesians 6:12-18




OK, In closing I just want to clear something up. My husband is the most wonderful, caring, valiant man I've ever known. He would never, ever have stood for me marrying Count Dracula. In real life he would have rescued me and our kids from that castle and we would have rode off into the sunset on those horses I saw down in the courtyard.


Oh ya, I also in no way endorse or believe in Count Dracula.


Man, this was a weird post.

One Of A Kind Girl

My 19 year old daughter, Natalie, left for China today. No specific agenda. She's just always loved Asian culture. It's been a dream of hers to one day visit China or Japan. When the opportunity presented itself in the form of a very affordable tour, she of course jumped at it. I did nothing. She made the down payment to reserve her spot. Then she paid off the entire balance ($1,500 for an all inclusive tour of China....unbelievable). She got her passport in order, made doctors appointments, updated her vaccines, went to work and school, packed her bags last night, and left this morning at 6:00 A.M.. Now, you must understand something. This is NOT unusual behavior for my Natalie. She has always been ambitious and independent. She's a one of a kind, that girl. I truly don't know anyone who compares to my daughter. Oh no...here it comes. I'm gonna get melancholy and reminiscent. I think I'm allowed that though. I mean goodness, she just left this morning to travel to the other side of the earth without her momma.


I was very young when Natalie was born...21 to be exact. Chris and I married young. I laugh when I look at our wedding pictures. I look like a child bride in a big, puffy sleeved wedding dress. We didn't plan on having kids right away. But, it just so happened that we got the "itch" as we saw some of our other, newly married friends starting their families. So, I got pregnant. No problem there. Aside from the usual morning sickness and fatigue that comes with pregnancy, everything seemed move along normally. I will tell you though, I couldn't wait to have this baby. I had always wanted to be a momma, just like my momma was a momma. We of course also wanted to do everything right. It would be natural child birth all the way. Like everyone else at that time, we took Lamaze classes. I remember one night in particular the class was called something like "Here's what you don't want to happen to you on your delivery day". We discussed being prepared. Have a bag packed and waiting by the front door. Make sure the car is always full of gas. Pack a special "labor & delivery" bag complete with breath mints, chewing gum, playing cards (in case you get bored), something to use as your focal point, and the like. All of it was good information on being prepared. Then came the topic of being prepared to push properly when the time comes. Don't push with your face or you'll bust it all up. Be sure to curve your body into a "C" and use your "K" muscles to push. The instructor made it very clear that if we didn't follow these very specific instructions, the baby would not come out the birth canal properly, and someone would have to apply "Fundal pressure" to your abdomen to help push the baby out. Or worse,and...oh no, not this. The dreaded vacuum sucker thingy. Nobody wants that to happen. She even had one of those things with her so we could all see and handle it. It had a little plastic cup at one end that fit on the baby's head. It was connected to a tube with a hand pump on the other end. No way! I was not going to let that happen to my baby. Chris and I determined together to practice, practice, practice. It would be a text book, perfect delivery.


The baby was due to arrive May 3, 1988. But, as the Lord would have it, on April 10th at about 8:00 P.M., just as I had sat on the couch to have a snack and watch T.V., my water broke. I actually remember the way it felt. It was as though a water balloon popped inside me. I yelled to Chris that my water broke and we needed to get to the hospital. Of course he didn't believe me. "It's a month early.", he laughed. "I know it's a month early. Now get my bags and lets get in the car.", I yelled. Oh no!, wait a minute. I had no bags packed yet. It was still early. I thought I had plenty of time. So, if I'm remembering correctly, we literally grabbed NOTHING and headed for the car. As soon as I sat in the front seat and buckled my seat belt, the contractions began. I thought to myself, "Wow, that was fast". Chris got in the drivers seat and started the car. "Oh no!" he said. "We're out of gas." O.K., strike two on the "Here's what you don't want to happen to you on your delivery day" list. Chris, strangely enough, was very calm about this. My contractions came on even stronger as he drove to the nearest gas station. He pulled on in next to the pump and opened the door to get out. I turned to him and said, "Don't leave me". He very gently reminded me that if he didn't get out to pump the gas, I would be having a baby in the front seat of our red Hyundai. The contractions were coming even harder now, and I remember thinking, "There's no way this is happening to me. Not like this." Yet, at the same time, I was so excited that in a short time, life would no longer just be the two of us...we would be three.


We made it to the hospital and checked into a room. By the time they got me in the bed I was at 5 1/2 centimeters. 30 minutes later I was at 7. Things were moving a little too fast. An alarm sounded on the machine that monitors the baby's heart rate. It had dropped considerably low. "What does that mean?" I asked. The doctor informed us that the baby had dropped too quickly into the birth canal and that the cord was probably wrapped around the neck. He quickly made a decision to tip the bed way back at an angle in hopes that the baby would move back up into the canal, thereby loosening the grip of the cord. The plan seemed to work, and her heart rate went back up to a normal pace. Never the less, nothing was going to stop this baby from making her way into this world just as fast as she could. Remember, I told you she was a one of a kind girl? So, my contractions came on harder than ever, and she continued on down. The alarm sounded again, signaling another drop in her heart rate. I screamed, "I need to push!" It wasn't quite time to push yet, but I pushed anyway. There was just one problem. The baby stopped moving down, and her heart rate was still dropping. The next thing I knew, my husband was behind me bending my body into a "C" shape. The doctor had reached up inside me and cut the cord so it would not continue to choke the baby. This meant they needed to get her out fast. A nurse then came and pressed as hard as she could on my abdomen...Fundal Pressure. When all that didn't work fast enough, the doctor used the vacuum and sucked her out by her head. I remember the absolute feeling of relief as she was pulled out of me. I waited, and I listened...nothing. No crying. I sat myself up the best I could to try to get a better look. Chris was standing by my bed. "It's a girl." the doctor said. But, still no cries. Then I saw her. I can still see her so clearly in my mind. She was so tiny. She wasn't pink though. She was blue from the lack of oxygen. She was limp. Yet, I remember thinking to myself, "She's so beautiful." The doctor flipped her upside down and held her by the ankles. He then began to smack the bottoms of her feet with his hand. I could hear his gentle voice, "Come on, honey...you can do it. Give us a cry." In what seemed to me to be an eternity, so many thoughts went through my head. "Wow, that baby was inside of me. Now she's out...over there. Is she going to cry? Are You taking her from us, Lord? I need her here with me. Please let her stay here with us. Cry, cry...please cry." It was surreal. Kind of like a dream. And then, we heard it. A high pitched squeal. And then a bunch of little coughs, and more squeals. She was breathing. That's all that mattered. She weighed in at a teeny, tiny 5lbs 2oz. I think her total APGAR score was something like a 4. But I didn't care. She was a 10 in my book. I was only allowed to hold her for a minute though. She was taken from me and placed in the Neonatal nursery. Her daddy went with her. I was left alone in the delivery room with the doctor as he finished "tidying" things up. Oh, how I wanted my baby. She was all I could think about, all I longed for at that moment. When all was finished with me, I was wheeled on a gurney to my new room. On our way we passed the Neonatal nursery. The nurse stopped right in front and told me they would bring the baby out for me to see. I looked up to see Chris carrying a little wrapped bundle out to me. It was my Natalie. He laid her on my chest. She was not crying, but I could tell that she had been. She actually had little tears in her eyes...or maybe it was the eye drops. They had put an I.V. in her forehead to give her necessary fluids. Her hands and arms were just too tiny for the needle. She had a little beanie cap on her head. I remember just staring at her sweet face. She had a little button nose. This was so unusual with my "big nose" Italian genes. But I'll never forget her little lips. They looked just like pink painted rose buds. So perfect was she. It didn't matter that her head was shaped like a cone from the vacuum, or that she had a needle in her forehead. We came refer to that needle as her little hat. She was absolutely perfect. And for just a few minutes, I lay there in the hallway and held my baby girl. I patted gently and whispered in her ear, "Shhhhh, Natalie...your mamma's here."


I stayed a full 3 days in the hospital to be close to my baby. We did end up having to go home without her though. She had some difficulties due to her low birth weight. When we did finally get to take her home on the 5th day, she only weighed 4lbs. 12oz.. She fit perfectly in the palm of Chris' hand. With the help of mamma's milk, she put on the pounds. Aside from some asthma problems, she continued to grow into a strong, very smart little girl. Even as a very small child, Natalie had a beautiful perspective on life and her surroundings. Now, this post is getting way too long, so I'll end with this. When Natalie was 4 years old, she was sitting with her dad and I in our small apartment living room looking at the fish in our salt water fish tank. "Daddy?", she said. "God is big, isn't He?" "Yes, sweetie, God is big", Chris answered. She went on, "Is He bigger than our house, daddy?" "Yes, Nat. He's bigger than our house." Both Chris and I wondered with anticipation what would come out of her next. "God's bigger than our house...but He lives in my heart."


I tell ya, she's one of a kind.



Behold, Children are a heritage from the Lord, The fruit of the womb is a reward."

Psalm 127:3

Far Out!

CC Healdsburg had our anual Harvest Festival this Halloween. I just had to put up some pics. Chris and I were hippies...just in case you couldn't figure that one out. Chris looks a little more like hippie Farmer John, or maybe we should just call him Rasta Farmer. Anyway, we had a great time. Lots of kids came to jump in the jump house and pet the animals in the petting zoo. They smashed pumpkins at the pumpkin smash, and played all the homemade kiddie games inside. I'm always amazed at how little kids in cute costumes could care less if your Ring Toss rings are made of duct tape, or that they're hammering nails into a 2X4. Hey, it's a free carnival!

Seasons Of Change

"To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven:" Ecclesiastes 3:1

And so begins the season of blogging. I can add it to the abundance of seasons my life has seen over the years.

You've probably heard it said many times. You know, you're talking to a friend, they share their heart and end by saying, "It's just a season I'm going through. " Or, "That was another season in my life." It's such a common saying, yet so profound in it's ability to help us classify the purpose and times of our lives. Ya see...I need that. Because when I look back at the myriad of changes in my life, especially since Christ saved me, it's mind boggling, and sometimes very confusing. Then I read Ecclesiastes 3:1..."To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven." As I go on to read the next 7 verses, each season written there, no matter how base or common they may seem to me, can come alive with purpose. I can take each one and apply them somewhere in my life. But this time, due to my current season, I got myself caught up on verse 5..."A time to cast away stones and a time to gather stones...". Cast away stones? Gather stones? What could possibly be "stones" in my life? So, of course, I went to my very own bible answer man, my husband Chris. I said, "Honey, what do you think the stones in Ecclesiastes 3:5 are referring to?". His response was so simple. "Well Mary, back then they would have cleared the stones out of a field in order to prep it for planting. Or, they would have collected stones to build a house or a wall...that sort of thing." DING! Hold the phone?!! That's it! Why else would I have stumbled on the stones in verse 5? (No pun intended) This is the season I'm in right now. I'm feeling as though the land of my heart, my mind, and my very life, is being cleared...prepped in a sense for what's ahead. Now, this isn't easy in any way, shape, or form. In fact it's been rather painful. The changes that have been coming upon myself, and infiltrating the life of my family seem to be so many, and very quick in their succession. My reaction to these changes can tend to be emotional, or shall I say over reactive. But, if I can put this time into a "season", well then...seasons change, right? Even though God's job of removing stones from my life may seem labor intensive and down right tiring at times, it's such a good and perfect work. You see, as He's doing that I can be gathering stones to build upon...His grace, mercy, peace, patience, and His never ending love. Don't you think those can work as stones to gather? I don't know...works for me. I like that. God is good.

Oh wait, the verse goes on to say, "A time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing." The "refrain from embracing" actually means to be far from it. Now, I believe this is referring to many different embraces, such as parents embracing their children, one brother embracing another, or friends embracing. But why would we ever stop embracing? Can't we just love one another? Can't we all just get along? All ya need is love, right? Yet it is true, that there are some seasons that are so heartbreaking, so tearing between people, that the embracing needs to stop. Well, maybe not stop....it's just far from us. Man! I really don't like that one. It causes me to realize something. If I'm living for myself...giving into my flesh and my pride. I'm not spending time with the Lord like I should, and He's not the priority in my life, of course I'm going to feel far from Him. It's not that He's left me, it's that His embrace is far from me. Well, I think that would be for my own good. When we stop our wanderings and turn back to Him, guess what? He's standing there, arms open wide...big hug.

So, as I said in the beginning, this is a season of blogging. I love to write, or you may call it babbling if you like. My prayer is that this blog would be a blessing to our Calvary Chapel Healdsburg women's ministry, and anyone else who feels so inclined to read.

Blessings to you all in the Name of our Lord Jesus